Social Overload and Social Frostbite

I’m thinking I may try to coin a new phrase tonight, so I’ll just get on with it.

It was seven degrees when I woke up this morning.  The wind chill was below zero.  I considered the potential for working from the condo today but reluctantly acknowledged that today’s slate was a bit too full for telecommuting.  During my conversations today at the office, I encountered a few others expressing their disdain for the cold and their intention of isolating themselves amongst the comforts of their warm homes.  Some even said that the office clears out on the coldest days as everyone holes up like it’s the end times.

From my time spent working at the home office in Ohio, I’m aware of what isolation can do to someone.  Sometimes, I literally sat in the front yard with my laptop in the hopes that neighbors would come distract me for a few minutes because I had been so lacking human contact.  I found ways around it in Ohio but single digit temperatures… give me the chills.  Horrible pun intended.

So we’re staying inside to avoid the cold.  Social frostbite?  Yes/No?

I like it.

We can, of course, stay connected through the cold weather the same way I stay connected with the goings on back in the Buckeye State (Go Blue!).  There’s Twitter, Facebook, SMS… even e-mail if you’re still a little old school.  That sort of social interaction, though, presents much the opposite problem.  Instead of too little communication, it’s easy for a social experience to turn into a jumbled, useless mess if you don’t have the time to keep things cleaned up and streamlined.

At one point, between my various projects, I was responsible for five Twitter feeds, six Facebook accounts and/or pages, several e-mail addresses and a multitude of other platforms.  When Google+ debuted, I was sure to inform my more tech-centric buddies that I was sitting this one out.  I had too much going on.  And so it has remained until today, even as I see those friends flocking to the new big thing and blowing their Facebook profile, yesterday’s hub of connectedness, to smithereens.  If I don’t convert, I’ll be left behind by at least some of them.

I’ve reduced the non-work e-mail addresses down to three, soon to be two… and one of them will remain a “junk” account.  Outside of work, I now manage one Facebook page and two Twitter feeds (soon to be one).  I’ve been suffering from social overload.  It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault, my own or otherwise… I just got a little overwhelmed with the different focal points of my life and things overlapped and criss-crossed a bit.  Now’s the time to fix it.

Don’t get me wrong… I won’t be participating less in social media.  If anything, I’ve been stepping it up lately.  Streamlining your participation makes it far easier to manage the various channels.  Case in point:  Late last week, I contacted a guy on Twitter and we took the problem to Direct Message.  That led to an e-mail that led to a Google Talk instant message.  In the end, we resolved the issue… which was the administration of a Facebook account.  You can’t make this stuff up.  This sort of multichannel experience gets exponentially more difficult when you factor in several accounts in each channel.

It comes down to this:  One primary e-mail (and one backup).  One Facebook, one Twitter, one Google+, one LinkedIn.  Put things where they go, cross-promote as necessary, but figure out how you’re going to use each one and stick with it.  Follow away on Twitter… but put everyone in a custom group so you can follow the right people at the right times.  Do the same on Facebook… it’s a little less intuitive than Google+ Circles, but it’s not that bad.  Get your game plan together and execute.

As for me, I’ll be transitioning out of several accounts this week that I’ve used for quite some time and making sure everyone knows to migrate to the remaining accounts.  I have some lists to build, but once I’m done, life will be far easier.

Then I’ll be able to get through this winter without falling victim to social frostbite.

Also, MySpace.  We’re bringing it back.  See you there.  🙂

Why I’m Not Occupying the People’s Plaza

Not far up the light rail here in Minnesota is a group of perhaps five or six people at their lowest and a few hundred on the nice days, holding up signs and shouting their concerns about a society that has forgotten about the collective in an attempt to wake those around them to the corruption that has infiltrated every level of government and regulatory agency.  They’re good people with good hearts and a worthy, important goal and I’ve spent some time with them (including rainy nights in a sleeping bag), but nothing recently.  Why, with my support of many of their most popular goals, am I not participating in the occupation today?

America is an interesting place.  I read anecdotes on a daily basis from our European brothers and sisters incredulously recounting how they saw American flags on cars and houses all up and down Main Streets and we even said a Pledge of Allegiance to our flag (which, for Americans who don’t know, is considered crass and xenophobic by many non-Americans).  We have created a life where you can get by under normal circumstances, which pacifies, but you can’t get ahead in most social situations and you can never be prepared for a crash.  We’re on a comfortable trapeze without a net but most Americans never look down and consider what would happen if we fell tomorrow.

With the occupiers, though, it’s different.  These folks see major wrongs within our society that they protest because they actually want real, tangible change.  They see that the net’s missing.  They are aware that despite its comforts, the trapeze of the working class is frayed and ready to snap.  For millions of Americans, it already has, and the outright cockiness of those who had been screwing with the ropes enrages them.  They saw the bankers pulling it apart, thread by thread, but nobody would listen until their own personal ropes frayed enough to finally break.

Why was it so difficult to make everyone look down at the lack of a net, or up at the ruling class working to fray the ropes?  Over the past thirty years, a cadre of influential charlatans such as Milton Friedman and Ronald Reagan have pushed an Atlas Shrugged-derived concept of self-righteousness, ruthlessness and carelessness onto American society.  They ushered in an era where each individual was taught that, according to Objectivism, “the proper moral purpose of one’s life is the pursuit of one’s own happiness.”  This damaged manner of thinking has become an alarmingly popular attribute even within the struggling working class, despite the dismissal of Ayn Rand’s book in 1957 as a hateful lesson in greed.

So we have a small number of compassionate, altruistic folks fighting a populace of greed and self-interest.  The challenge here is clear, but as momentum continued to build I became quite excited that this was our time.  Indeed, Massachusetts last week sued five large banks and a foreclosure mill for their fraudulent practices in that state as more people became sympathetic to a cause that featured Marines, former police chiefs, elderly ladies and librarians being pepper sprayed, assaulted with rubber bullets, and locked up in jail beaten and bloodied by a police force that forgot who they were supposed to serve and protect.

Sadly, there’s an issue with the Occupy movement that is making it difficult to build momentum.  Democracy is messy and I realize that.  However, democracy is not about ending power structure or always having unanimity.  Democracy needs representatives, branding, an organizational structure, and some concrete, direct messaging.  We aren’t going to accomplish anything by requiring a unanimous decision or by maintaining an unorganized structure with no means to release official statements or direct demands.

What the Occupy movement needs right now is structure.  They do not need to limit voices to do that; the leadership structure should be designed in a way that the individuals on camera are always representing the majority will of the people at the camp and will be quickly replaced if that doesn’t happen.  As long as the people control the message, it is not inappropriate to have a specific group of individuals delivering it.  We need trained media personalities, trained public relations experts, copywriters, producers… we need more structural organization for keeping the parks looking tidy.  We need to look like organized, clean, hard-working and respectful Americans.

What we need next is a voting structure that allows everyone involved to participate but does not require unanimous decisions.  Democracy is about majority, not unanimity.  Issues should be brought forward, explained in detail, voted on and passed or failed based on majority rule.  With this, we would be able to more quickly develop concrete demands and demonstrate that we are not on the fringe of society.  We are organized and ready to ensure our demands are met.

Then, finally, we need to focus on ONE DEMAND at a time.  We can’t have ten different campaigns going at once.  Base it one majority vote.  It’s a simple process:

  • Collect the proposed demands and hold a majority vote on each to determine if the group supports it
  • Hold a vote on each passed demand to ask if it should be the first demand
  • The one with the highest percentage of “yes” votes becomes the first demand until it is resolved
  • Hold another vote on each remaining passed demand to determine the next action
My guess is that the order would be similar to the following:
  1. Reinstate Glass-Steagall
  2. Overturn Citizens United
  3. Campaign Finance Reform to end unethical lobbyist behavior
  4. Break up companies which could pose a threat to the national economy if they were to fail
However, at our current rate we will not be creating a list of demands before the next presidential election and by that time the movement will have fizzled out as a footnote in American history books.  Sadly, as long as we keep believing leaderless anarchy and unanimous decision-making are the best call, we can’t change the path we’re on.
I urge my brothers and sisters in the Occupy movement to heed this warning.  The numbers in most of the country’s camps have dwindled during the past two weeks.  UC Davis was the last big media coup we had and it is fading from the front of people’s minds.  You can’t let that happen.  The time to take decisive and direct action is now and I’m ready to jump back in when we’re ready to move forward.

Home is where the heart is; the bad habits are there too

I just returned from 16 days back in good old Elyria and I must say that I had a great time.  I was there so long that it really started to feel like everything was back to normal, so coming back out this time was almost as hard as the first time.  It’s strange how quickly I readjusted there and the same goes for the quick readjustment once I returned to cold, blustery Bloomington.  That said, I’ve realized there are some major differences in my Ohio self and my Minnesota self.

For those who aren’t already familiar with the backstory, I learned really quickly that Minnesotans walk.  I mean they walk a lot.  I’ve been trying to join the craze and I’ve also been hitting up Planet Fitness several times a week while here (more on them later) and the results have been spectacular.  Along with my excellent diet out here (lettuce wraps, spaced out meals, less pasta and Jager, etc.), the workouts have helped me lose around twelve pounds since relocating.

Sadly, in my sixteen days in Ohio, I ate out probably a dozen times (including pizza, burgers, pasta and everything else I shouldn’t be eating) and I worked out a grand total of twice.  I also drank a bit more Jager, which is far worse than the whiskey I tend to gravitate toward when I’m working to make better decisions out here.  Those wonderful discrepancies took away half of the gains I made since the big move.  Yuck.

Another interesting bad habit that resurfaced was drinking and getting obnoxious about it.  See, out here I have a drink or two at home and then hit the sack… or I dive into the occasional Jager-fueled radio show (follow me on Twitter for the next one!) until I pass out.  Back around the girlfriend, I drank and wanted to party with her, sometimes quite a bit more than she wanted to party back.  I might spend every day shufflin’, but she has college, work, internship, etc. and needs that rest to get by.  I take it a little personally when I’m the only one who wants to party all night… so I bitch and moan about it, drunkenly thinking that’ll inspire her to get up and party when in reality it probably just makes her want to take a frying pan to my head (sexism not intended).

Now work, that was my shining star… I was very productive when it came time to do my job.  I’m fully confident that I’m ready to handle that aspect, armed with the knowledge that I need to escape the office and work somewhere else at least a day or two a week to keep myself from falling victim to cabin fever.  At least I know I’m ready for that.

The other stuff, though… all I know for sure is that living on my own and working in an office around other human beings makes me take care of business in a way that I haven’t completely applied to Ohio life yet.  Of course, it’s not for a lack of trying, but in my two nights back in Bloomington I’ve worked out, grocery shopped, cleaned the place, prepped meals, unpacked, ate healthy and wrote this blog.  And had half a glass of Jack and Coke without slipping into party mode.

And I’ll be going to bed around ten to get up early and do it all over again tomorrow.

The next big task in my life is to figure out how to do what I do here – when I get back there.

I’m not too worried, though… I tend to notice learning opportunities when they arise and I’m also fortunate to have a significant other who cares about me enough to tell me when I’m broken and need to fix myself.  Everyone should be so lucky.

Only 22 days to the next trip home where I get to test all the theories I’ve created around this.   You can be sure I’ll blog about it.

Enough is Enough: Revisiting Black Friday

A few years back, I wrote this blog on some of the problems with the concept of Black Friday.  Fast forward to 2011 and things have only become worse, but there’s a glimmer of hope that the tides are finally turning on this hyperconsumerist day of madness.

First, a reminder from Wikipedia of what we saw in 2008, weeks before my earlier blog post was written:

In 2008 a crowd of approximately 2,000 shoppers in Valley Stream, New York, waited outside for the 5:00 a.m. opening of the local Wal-Mart. As opening time approached the crowd grew anxious and when the doors were opened the crowd pushed forward, breaking the door down, and trampling a 34 year old employee to death. The shoppers did not appear concerned with the victim’s fate, expressing refusal to halt their stampede when other employees attempted to intervene and help the injured employee, complaining that they had been waiting in the cold and were not willing to wait any longer. Shoppers had begun assembling as early as 9:00 the evening before. Even when police arrived and attempted to render aid to the injured man, shoppers continued to pour in, shoving and pushing the officers as they made their way into the store.

Quite literally, these shoppers killed to get a “deal.”  And they did it in cold blood, with no regrets, and didn’t even let it interrupt their shopping rhythm.

Now back to 2011.  Not only have retailers continued to embrace this faux holiday despite the dangers, they’ve increased the breadth and scope of what it means to participate in Black Friday.  Last year’s “innovators” opened at midnight.  This year, Target and Best Buy have followed suit and Wal-Mart is opening at 10pm on Thanksgiving day itself.

Step back and think for a second.  Name three days a year when families all get together and spend time with each other.  If you said “Christmas, Thanksgiving and.. uh..” you would be correct.  Two days a year are reserved moreso than any others for family gatherings, time to be thankful, time to reflect on life.  Entire industries come screeching to a halt because family is more important than profit on these occasions.  Retail employees give up their evenings and weekends as well as most major holidays without complaint, but Thanksgiving and Christmas have been sacred.

This year, retail employees are expected to report to thousands of stores across the country at 9pm on Thanksgiving day to work ten, twelve, sometimes sixteen hour shifts. When the family gets together in the late afternoon and dinner is served that evening, how are these employees supposed to be able to show up for a sixteen hour shift right after dinner?  The only logical answer, of course, is saying “I’m lucky to have a job in this economy, so I will sleep instead of spending Thanksgiving with my family.”

And that’s the pushback we’re seeing now.  The petition for Target to end midnight openings on Black Friday has reached 80,000 signatures as of this hour, resulting in media coverage and interviews with the creator of the petition.  At the same time, it has inspired a lot of people in other industries (which get Thursday and Friday off every year) to launch counter-petitions directly targeting the petition creator, such as the cleverly titled “Anthony Hardwick: Stop trying to petition Target, and go to work like a normal American.

Someone doesn’t know much about the labor movement.

We’re seeing a repeat of every social issue to play out in the past year happening again with Black Friday.  The people are beginning to raise their voice; 2011 will be remembered as the year the people started fighting back around the world, from the Arab Spring to Occupy Wall Street.  However, as people begin to raise their voices, they’re meeting some unlikely adversaries:  Other victims who prefer to continue being victimized for whatever strange reason instead of asserting themselves for a better society.

Why would someone demand that employees such as Anthony Hardwick (or Rick Melaragni, who created the Best Buy version of this same petition) “go to work like a normal American” and “start appreciating that you even have a job?”  Simple… because they’re Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaires, and as soon as the universe corrects this injustice, they will rule with an iron fist, so they don’t want the people to start getting out of line when those millions are about to start rolling in any day now.

“I feel terrible,” Best Buy CEO Brian Dunn reportedly said at a conference. “We were going to be open at a much more civilized hour, like 3 or 4 (a.m.).”

Then do it.  It’s that simple.  Say it and make it so.

Need a more robust plan?  (Or more likely, need a more robust plan for next year since it’s likely too late this year?)

Issue a press release, match it up with an impassioned 30 second TV spot that also gets placement front and center on the website.  Tweet it and Facebook it.  Here’s what it will say:

“Over the years, Black Friday has grown into a monster.  Obviously, it was good for business, but when five a.m. became midnight, our employees spoke up. Retail is a challenging world. Our team gives up evenings, weekends, and most holidays to provide you with world class customer service. However, Thanksgiving is not negotiable. Our employees will be spending Thanksgiving with their families and we will open at 9 a.m. on Black Friday.  We hope to see you then.”

Don’t think it’s a good idea because it’s not what the industry is doing?  Screw the industry, be a leader.  Don’t follow.  Be bold, focus on the employee and customer experiences, ignore the trends and the bottom line will take care of itself.  That’s how confidence in your people works, that’s how leading the industry works.

Remember… if it doesn’t change from the top, it will change from the bottom, so it might be less messy to take the leap willingly.

0% Corporate Tax Rate is Too High for Job Creators

So the recursive discussions continue on my Facebook page, Newsvine, random media sites and in personal conversations on a daily basis.  The same myths are recycled and rehashed and given new life each time someone finds a clever new way of saying the same thing.  It’s like going from “terrorists” to “Islamofascists” all over again.

My neoliberal free market buddies all tell me, “Alan… those are the job creators you’re trying to punish.  They’re the ones keeping people employed and if we don’t stop punishing them with these ridiculously high tax rates, they might start letting people go!”

First, the U.S. corporate tax rate is the world’s highest at 35%.  My dad used to say “paper lies still, you can write anything on it.”  That anecdote was designed for this fallacy.  A full two-thirds of all American corporations pay precisely nothing in taxes.  Nothing.  Sure, their “tax rate” is 35% but their non-quoted tax rate is 0%.  That’s how life works when the government is a fully-owned subsidiary of the biggest corporations and they write their own rules and laws.

Don’t believe me?

35% of ANYTHING is still zero, right?

The truth behind what "35% Corporate Tax Rate" looks like in America

So not only are they not paying any taxes at all, but they’re outsourcing their labor and receiving taxpayer-funded bailouts… and the Reaganites think that we should be giving them more.

It’s ironic that these people are so obsessed with talking about handouts.

On the subject of bailouts, consider this:  Banks signed people up for mortgages they couldn’t afford, using unethical and predatory practices in the contract and execution of the contract.  They took these wildly dangerous mortgages and said they were completely sound investments as they sold them off to investors trying to fund retirement accounts.  Then, when things blew up, not only were all the homeowners screwed, but so were all the investors.  The only people that came out ahead were the banks… and then we gave them hundreds of millions more while they continued foreclosing, sometimes on houses that they never even owned.

But the conservatives say it’s all the homeowners’ own faults for believing the banks’ deception.  The deception was capitalism, just business as usual… falling for the deception, now that’s damn near criminal.  Come on.

Back to the topic at hand.  The job creators.  Those thoughtful, altruistic, generous job creators that would employ everyone if only we’d pay them for the honor of being their employees.  Sadly, we have the audacity to ask them to pay taxes and wages, which paints them into a corner they just can’t escape from.

I mean, I feel for them.  Hell, their raises averaged 27% last year.  Imagine how difficult it would be to find time to hire more workers when you’re busy trying to negotiate the right price on that house in the Hamptons, which will be your seventh home.  That’s a lot of stress and these execs can’t be bothered with the sort of riff raff that… (oops, forgot… they’re great people) …the sort of hard working American that has been out of work for a year and is about to lose his house.  He should’ve known better than to get laid off.  Being outsourced is no excuse.

The fact is that these “job creators” that need “a break” are raking in record profits (both as individual execs and as corporations), paying record low taxes, and they simply view labor as another line on a profit and loss statement.  Regardless of the tax rate or environmental regulations or financial regulations, these people will hire if and only if there is a specific tangible financial benefit to hiring.

Suggesting that we give more to people who already have it all in order to help the people who have nothing is ludicrous.  The thought is indefensible, no matter how many times you plug your ears and shout “entitlements handouts welfare socialism” at the top of your lungs.  Ignorance is not supporting evidence.  Buzzwords aren’t proof of concept.

Here’s a (hypothetical) riddle:

A handful of people have all the wealth and pay virtually no taxes.  A wide swath of people do everything they can to barely get by and also pay no taxes.  The middle has enough to be comfortable and pays virtually all the taxes, but it’s not enough to keep the country moving forward.  Who pays more?

Leave your answer in the comments.

“This Time I’m Not Leaving Without You”

Man, I want to say those words and mean them.

So I pretty much had my first complete mental breakdown this weekend. Yay.. everyone got to see my neurotic side! As I closed in on my fifth X on my whiteboard’s weekly countdown until the end of this lease, I was counting down the minutes until I got my daily dose of the girl I miss more than I can explain. In an ironic twist, her social life has picked up quite a bit since I’ve relocated, so I had to do without, and my brain didn’t take too kindly to the sudden withdrawal.

So I did what any rational 32 year old would do. I posted a bunch of generic emo-sounding updates on Facebook, downed half a bottle of Jager and hit bottom. OK, so perhaps it’s the _opposite_ of what a rational 32 year old would do, but it’s not exceptionally shocking behavior for me. I mean, really, I should have seen it coming with the daily mini-breakdowns I had been keeping to myself.

The great thing is it only lasted two days this time. Some amazing people reached out via Facebook and text message and really helped pull me through, then I had my “spill my guts, cry, and then get over it” routine with the girl that really put my mind back in the right place. I smiled for the first time since Friday. It felt great, the proverbial “weight lifted from the shoulders” feeling.

It’s not over, though. I’m not as adaptable as most people. Every single day is a struggle, not when I’m at work or when I’m running errands or when I’m working out, but when I lay down to sleep. Melatonin slows my overactive and pessimistic brain but it doesn’t stop it. The way I feel right now is this: I definitely do not have 47 more weeks in me. I strongly doubt that I would be able to manage half that. It’s likely that I would find a way below rock bottom if I was still out here in late spring.

As it stands today, I’m going to put this week in, go develop a social life (thanks Erik Hess for helping me get started with this tomorrow), and head home to the center of my universe this weekend to put some color and taste back into my drab grey life. I seriously booked the flight back at 6am on Monday so I could sleep there one more (partial) night. It was good foresight on my part… I need all the help I can get.

After that, I have a week off during Christmas and I’m hoping to add at least two more weekends in Ohio during between now and then. I’m flying Kristin and Tiffany out for New Year’s Eve. That’s where the current plans end and where I’m formulating my next steps. My thoughts are to suggest allowing me to work from home for a few weeks in late January/early February to accomplish a number of important things:

– Avoid as much of Minnesnowta’s harsh winter as possible
– Take care of any issues around the house that need to be resolves
– Keep myself from going insane spending the cold winter alone
– Prove that I’m as productive, efficient, and participatory working from home

I was initially planning to use this as a stepping stone to begin a long-term discussion to transition into a May start date for working from Ohio. After the past two days, I feel like my situation is more serious and I’m planning to solicit feedback and foster an immediate conversation on whether this time was well spent and how we can speed along a transition that allows me to return to Ohio, flying out to Minneapolis as needed, and to make that happen in the shortest possible timeframe.

Credit where it’s due.. Kristin told me immediately. She said it was going to be hard for me. She knows me better than I know myself. She said to consider how I’ll be able to go on with the distance and I said I’d pull through. I can’t think of a time where her advice was off the mark, but this was her most accurate bulls-eye ever.

Sigh. I should listen to her more often.

And I shouldn’t come back to Minneapolis next Monday without her…

My Proposed List of Demands for the Occupy Together Movement

Hello, friends!  It has been some time since my last blog as I have been preparing for and attending OccupyMN, the solidarity movement in Minneapolis with the Occupy Wall Street protest.  I am home on a recharge/shower/lunch break and wanted to take a few moments to express my personal list of proposed demands for our movement.  It will not be representative of the others’ thoughts in any way… this is my work and mine alone and I would be happy to see the movement adopt all or parts of it, but this blog does not represent the movement in any way.

Generation of Funds

In order to fulfill what I believe are the obligations of government (summed up nicely by FDR’s proposed second Bill of Rights), the government will need proper funding.  Part of this will be in the form of cuts and more will be in the form of progressive and simplified taxation.  We’ll start with taxation.

Simplified and Progressive Taxation

First and foremost, anyone making below $40,000 plus an additional $10,000 per dependent should not pay any sort of taxes.  With all the talk about “broadening the tax base,” we cannot forget how much it costs just to provide shelter, food, education and health care.  Hard-working Americans cannot “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” unless they have something to work with.  This is a fair and honest dollar amount that would be adjusted based on the cost of living each year.

Secondly, there would be no tax-exempt status for religious organizations or any non-profit which pays their CEO more than 50 times times the national minimum wage.  Religious organizations should not be exempt from taxes as this demonstrates government sponsorship and endorsement of religion, which provides an appearance of impropriety related to the government’s First Amendment mandate to remain separated from religious matters.  Any organization paying their CEO more than fifty times minimum wage is not living the spirit of non-profit.

Third, taxation on the individual would be handled as a sales tax.  All items and services would have a 25% sales tax of which 5% would be distributed by the federal government to states, cities, townships and school districts on a democratically-approved scale and basis.  The only items exempt from sales taxes would be:

  • Primary shelter rent or mortgage within reasonable limits as designated per local markets
  • Primary vehicle within reasonable limits and mass transit
  • Consumables (food, groceries)
  • Health care products, services, prescriptions
  • Educational tuition, fees, books, shelter
Finally, corporate taxes would be set at 35% of profits generated.  Offshoring, investing in shell companies, and other such loopholes would be closed permanently.  Profits generated would be straight revenue minus straight costs.  A company that used no foreign labor, manufacturing, or sourcing during a tax year would be eligible to pay only 25%.
Summary:  Individual 25% sales tax with “necessities” item exemptions and poverty exemption.  Corporate 35% flat tax on real profits with 10% deduction for being “all-American.”  Exclusion of religious and high-paid CEO organizations from non-profit status.  All other taxes and related tax compliance divisions eliminated.
Cuts to Spending
The “war on drugs,” including all cannabis-related laws and restrictions, and the incarceration of all inmates on cannabis-related charges, would be completely eliminated.  All inmates serving time for cannabis-related crimes would be released, cases would be dropped, programs to find and destroy fields would end, and programs to misinform Americans about cannabis would cease operation.
The “war on terror,” including our invasion and occupation of several middle eastern countries, would end directly and immediately.  All military bases outside of the country would close and all equipment and personnel would return to the United States to act as defense or work on infrastructure projects.  Black sites and international prisons would be shuttered and anyone not receiving a fair and speedy trial would be released.
The IRS would be converted to a standard compliance office with a greatly reduced headcount per the taxation section above.

Government Obligations

Housing:  Reclamation of abandoned homes and bank-abandoned foreclosures (foreclosed homes with no bank action for 60 days post-eviction) and relocation of homeless families and individuals into these residences.  The contract between the renter and the government would mandate improvements to bring the home up to code and visually appealing using tools provided by Housing and Urban Development.  Rent would be paid via this labor, and if the requirements are met within six months and maintained for an additional year, the renter will own the property.
Welfare:  Funding will be contingent on work performed under a public works program.  Instead of the current method of providing funding while the recipient seeks employment, any public welfare recipient will need to work on public projects as determined by their physical and mental capabilities and their family situation.  Additionally, they will need to complete training geared toward moving them back into a job in the private sector and will be assisted by social workers in the training and transitioning process.
Health:  The Kucinich/Conyers universal single-payer healthcare bill contains the exact structure needed for meeting this demand.  Please read the summary of that bill here.
Education:  Anyone wishing to obtain a college education will be free to do so.  The government will impose rational limits on the cost of higher education in order to make it affordable for all.  Instead of subsidized loans provided by private lenders, the government will provide a mixture of 50% grant/50% loan (nationalized, not privatized) for tuition, books, lab fees, and (if required) housing to students who qualify for some form of aid, with the grant being awarded first.  This would encourage students to seek out other scholarship opportunities as opposed to taking out loans, but would not preclude anyone from obtaining a higher education.
And finally…
Restoring Power to the People
Restore the Glass Steagall Act and eliminate the Patriot Act and the 1996 Telecom Act.  I will leave it up to each of you to educate yourselves on these acts.
This is my list and is subject to revision.  I would love to see your thoughts in the comments.  It may not sound like the “nationalize all energy and banks” socialism you’ve come to expect if you know me, but again… I realize that these are not the mainstream goals of this movement.  My proposals are geared toward a regulated, socially just environment that keeps alive the choices brought about through properly regulated competition.

Jagermeister and the Loss of Youthful Metabolism

Today’s page of my Classic Dave Barry Page-A-Day calendar (yes, I’m old and he’s funny) included this excerpt:

The truth is that – and I speak here as a trained humor professional – women are definitely more interested in muscles than a sense of humor.  You will never hear a woman say: “I wish Brad Pitt would put his shirt back on and tell some jokes!”

Decades ago in 2002, when I met my girlfriend, I was a spry 140 pound young man.  I also had never used the word spry, but that’s not the point.  I was going through a point in my life where, because of some missing blocks of time from my teens, I was living a straight edge lifestyle.  I was pretty committed to the mantra that if you put bad things into your body, the outcome will be bad as well.  Of course, I also benefited from the metabolism of a 22 year old guy as well.

As years went on, I slowly (and by slowly I mean quickly) picked back up on social drinking with Kristin and her friends.  Each year required, of course, progressively more alcohol to achieve the same effect and while my metabolism was slowing, my intake of the carb-filled German herbal liquer that I love so much was accelerating.

That’s the part that pretty much everyone already knows.  If you’ve seen me since turning 30, I look like a dude who used to be in his 20s but then suddenly wasn’t.

Since moving from Cleveland (ranked 15th fattest city in America by Men’s Fitness) to Minneapolis (ranked #1 fittest city in America by ACSM), walking down the street has become an eye-opening experience.  Also, people walk down the street here.  Or bike.  Or jog.  It becomes apparent very quick that an overweight Clevelander is from out of town when a meeting is three floors up and he’s the only one that passes the stairs on his way to the elevator.  They called out, “the steps over here!”  They hadn’t even considered that I was going for the elevator… they just thought I was lost.

I’m happy to say that I’m walking and taking the stairs more… not quite up to my 7th floor cubicle, but maybe someday.  I’ve been in Bloomington for eleven days and have only drank once compared to the typical three or four nights a week.  I’ll never have that metabolism back (*sniffle*) but I’ve managed to drop six pounds already.  One good habit leads to another… I jumped on the elliptical tonight at the local gym for a ten minute workout.  It feels good to be on the right track.

I guess the moral of today’s post is that anyone can do this.  Alcohol has long been an outright addiction for me and I’ve been sober for a week.  Fast food was my go-to option and I’ve ate out once in the past week at a gathering of friends that took place at a bar and grill.  Sitting on my ass was my forte but those stairs become awfully appealing when you can squeeze into your old pants with the 34 inch waist.  Seriously, I had every bad habit at once and I’m doing it… no excuses, people!

I’m treating myself to a tasty meal of my choice every time I hit another 5 pounds lost and keep it off for a week.  I just hit 190 and I’m calling that burger last night my treat.  At 185, it’s gonna be some fettucine alfredo.  I’m hoping to be there in about three weeks.  Gotta make the goals realistic if you want to feel like you’re moving in the right direction.

Best of luck to everyone who decides today, tomorrow, next month or next year that the time has come to mold yourself back into the rock star you used to be, back when you could tear apart a large pizza and a 2 liter in one meal without gaining a pound.

Or was that just me?

The Shifting Definition of Patriotism (aka Why It’s Dangerous to Say America’s Always Right)

For most of the existence of countries, patriotism has been defined generally as a love of one’s country, an emotional connection and an action in the general welfare of one’s country.  Patriots saw vast potential in their country and worked hard to ensure it met the full potential.  Finding opportunities to make the country even better was always a central tenet of the pride of a patriot.

Sadly, we’ve traded this for a fake patriotism in America, one that says you absolutely must not do any of the following things:

  • Criticize the military or the broader government
  • Show anything beyond contempt for an “enemy”
  • Support the rights of minorities or immigrants
  • Profess that peace is better than war
  • Profess that any economic system other than capitalism is even an option
  • Speak against religion, or more specifically, Christianity

If you do any of those things, you are no longer a patriot.  It seems odd, then, that the first patriots in this country did all those things in big heaping helpings.  They consistently questioned government and military action, participated in diplomacy, supported equality and peace, ran an economy with strong socialist leanings and held religion to be a matter kept as far from the state as possible.  Where did the people go wrong?

I hear references to 9/11, troops, or capitalism every day.  Never in a negative light, of course.  When I interject that perhaps our biggest problems in this country are due to the aggression of the military, the inequality of the free market, or the obsession with a small-scale (by international standards) terror attack from over a decade ago, my company is typically aghast.  The look of horror on the face of an average American who just encountered the suggestion that Marx had a very sound strategy outlined in the Communist Manifesto is beyond words and, honestly, would be humorous if not for the level of historical ignorance on display.

You know who loved Marx?  Abraham Lincoln.  He found the writings of Marx to be enlightened and intellectually stimulating.  He felt that the tenets of Marx’s form of socialism worked very well in the American economic landscape.  You can even go all the way back to Glenn Beck’s “Common Sense” buddy Thomas Paine and read Agrarian Justice for a look at how socialism helped shape our country’s origins clear back to the Founding Fathers.  However, say that word today and the average American’s face contorts as if you’ve just told them that the Jerry Springer Show isn’t real.

The point is that maybe I’m wrong about Marxism, about peace, about our military fighting for imperialism and political ideology instead of defending any discernible freedom over the past two decades… but in a country that places so much emphasis on free speech, why am I castigated for expressing what I consider patriotic statements?  Acknowledging these things could carry the country in a different and better direction, but many in this country refuse to acknowledge that anything about this country could possibly be wrong… and how is that patriotism?

Einstein said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting different results.  When things fail here, we often change some of the terminology we use to describe the process then just try it again.  We don’t adjust, we don’t improve.  Suggestions of improvement using successful models from elsewhere are rebuffed with “well you should just move to Denmark if you hate America so much.”  But that’s the entire point… I wouldn’t be trying to improve a country I hated.

We’re losing our way and the time to revert to the old form of patriotism is now.  We need to openly question our government, our military, our economy, our corporations… we need to constantly ask what we can do to make the country better.  Anything less is unpatriotic.

(On that note, I’ll be talking about something related to this blog post next time I do a Rage entry… Occupy Wall Street is next on the agenda!)

College Football: Making Saturdays great since 1995

I grew up in an Ohio State household.  It’s probably no small wonder that I became a Michigan fan.  It’s natural to root for the underdog and the local team, but I don’t always follow the path of least resistance.  For being a Michigan fan in Ohio, I’ve been flipped off, told to kill myself, had my sexuality questioned, and had a rock thrown at my car amidst what I can only assume were some obscenities.  The guy was so drunk and/or livid that Michigan car flags existed that you could barely make out what he was sputtering as he released the baseball-sized boulder.  He missed.  He overthrew.  Maybe he should’ve tried a running play.

The Oakland Athletics were my first favorite sports team, starting around 1987 when Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire were the Bash Brothers and Rickey Henderson was stealing bases like it was a walk in the park.  I moved along to the Braves once the A’s imploded (Canseco started falling apart not long after his 40/40 season in 1988, Henderson had his not-so-humble celebration for the stolen base record, and McGwire turned into the incredible ginger hulk), but since the mid 1990’s, I haven’t watched much pro baseball.  I’d rather check out a Lake Erie Crushers game live, in good seats, for five bucks on dollar dog night.

Since those days, though, it’s been all about football for me.  I was a Bengals fan for a number of years but gave up when they signed the cancer known as TO.  I’m a big Ochocinco fan and think he has his best years ahead of him, but TO is a darkness over an entire team.  Nothing you all don’t already know.  Needless to say, I have lost interest in pro football.

Saturdays, for me, are where it’s at… I check out the schedule by Tuesday and pick out a noon game, a 3:30 game, and a 7 or 8pm game.  Sometimes there are two in one time slot and I’ll either need two screens or the “Back” button close by.  Right now, I just finished hailing to the Victors at Michigan after their 28-7 victory over Hoke’s last school, SDSU.  Right now, I’m watching OSU rebound from a loss last week with a ten point lead.  In a few hours, I’ll paradoxically shout “War Eagle!” for a team called the Tigers.  Auburn became my other favorite team through several random associations, not the least of which was Tommy Tuberville… everything about the man was hard to dislike in comparison to the douchiness that is Nick Saban.  Plus his name was Tommy.  Tommy Tuberville.  That’s an excellent name.

It gets paired up with drinks, or grilling, or friends, or the throwing of random objects across the room on a bad day, but the mainstay of my Saturday life during the fall is college football.  It will make Saturdays the easiest days to get through while I’m out here in Minnesota, braving the cold and lonely winter.  If you ever have the urge to watch a game and aren’t sure who might be interested… let me know.